


Muddy Misery

by Marfacat



Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Ents, Falling into ME, Gen, Grumpiness, Lots of frustrated swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-06-01 13:18:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6521434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marfacat/pseuds/Marfacat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two sarcastic assholes plague Middle-earth with their fuckery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fuck

**Author's Note:**

> I think I'm funny.

Dear Imaginary Journal,  
Today was not a good day.  
Hell, it wasn't even a bad day.  
It wasn't even a horrible, terrible, no-good, very bad day.  
It was a clusterfuck of chaos and panic and mud.  
Yes, mud.  
Mud just might be the worst part of the day, besides getting ejected from my dimension with my ex best friend.  
Well, we were still best friends at the time...  
Like I said, today was pretty damn bad.  
I don't know how the hell we got here. We just popped in a Lord of the Rings disc for movie night, and POOF.  
Anyway, she-who-must-not-be-named and I are (very reluctantly) cuddling for warmth.  
In the mud.  
In the middle of the scariest fucking forest I have ever been in in my life.  
Right next to a tree.  
Before you get all 'you don't say' on me, let me tell you that this tree is special.  
It fucking TALKS.  
Not that we can understand it, must be speaking some special tree language.  
Fuck that.  
The tree doesn't like us very much, I think.  
I don't think it wants to kill us, either. It's had every opportunity in the fucking WORLD, and we're still alive.  
Pity, I wouldn't mind a certain SOMEONE getting squished by a tree.  
Good. Fucking. Night.


	2. Double Fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the awesome comments!

Dear Imaginary Journal,

I smell like tree shit. 

I didn't even think that was a thing until I had the unfortunate opportunity to wake up in the mud next to Morningbreath McGee, who had been SWEATING and BREATHING on me all night long in a cold -but still muggy- ass forest next to a talking fucking tree in a different fucking universe.

You know things have spiraled out of control in your life when you invent a whole new smell.

Now the tree thing is pointing to this little stream and looking at us like we're supposed to know what that means. 

I'm tempted to drown Half-dead-with-a-bedhead in it, but I don't think the tree would approve.

Whatever, I'm dehydrated. I'll drink the stuff. With any luck, I might get some deadly strain of virus and die so that I don't have to deal with this bullshit anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is short! Comments are appreciated! I plan to post more in the future!

**Author's Note:**

> I may post more in the future, but I might just let it stand alone. Please give feedback!


End file.
